Yes, just once a day. Once a day to make sure that my hair is presentable, but no more than that. I wash my face after a shower, when the mist fogs my mirror. When brusing my teeth twice a day, I focus on my mouth. When plucking my eyebrows I look at the arches and the stray hairs.
I cannot bare the look of my face. While I know I have eyes looking at my face, straight into my eyes, I cannot bare to look my own self in the eye. It is not because I am ashamed of myself. I cannot make myself admire who I am. I am doing work on getting to know myself and I like what I see on the inside, but I just cannot see it on the outside.
My therapist for two years has been trying to convince me to look at my reflection but I still cannot make eye contact with myself.
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