Goodbye 2012

A year ago Sunday, I got a final goodbye from my last love.  He called me a 'lying whore', a label that hurt me to the core and that even a 367 days later still stings.

Nevertheless, it was in that instant that I knew I was alone and had to fend for myself.  I could not wait for a new partner, a new love to come around.  I had to do something for me.

2012 was a year of growth, of transition, of action.  I may not love myself any more or less, but I am still persevering, thinking, reflecting, and, of course, day-dreaming.

Here are a series of questions I borrowed from one of my favorite blogs:

5 events that have been the best this year:
1. Going to Costa Rica on my own.
2. Visiting Portland, Sedona, Yosemite, and Tomales Bay
3. Learning how to ride a bike
4. Performing on stage for the first time
5. Being on the water white water rafting, kayaking, and paddleboarding

5 events that have been the worst this year
1. Being called a 'lying whore' at the beginning of the year
2. Being rejected after sending an e-mail to an old friend
3. The shootings all over the country
4. Almost drowning in the Balsa River in Costa Rica
5. Sill not loving myself as much as I should

What have you learned this year
I have learned that I have more strength in me than I realized.  While this year has been tough, having a routine has maintained me mentally and physically.

What is the best thing you read
Two of the most inspiring books I read were "Love, Inshallah" and "Girl Goddess #9".  Both books are short stories of inspiring women, both real and fiction.  While I read a lot this year, these two books are what I would love to write someday as I try to return to the world of words.

What you wish you'd done more?
I wish I involved myself in creative pursuits.  I really wish I wrote more fiction pieces instead of rants.  I wish I took more pictures and captured serene scenes.

Was this the year you had in mind?
In mid 2011, 2012 was filled with so much hope, which were dashed.  At the beginning of 2012, I really did not know what to expect.  In reflecting on 2012, I think that I had accomplished a lot, but I also maintained myself in spite of the emotional life inside of me. I thought I would be further ahead in loving myself more, but I think I have a long way to go.  I do feel I was able to be there for others and connect with people who I can trust, which is what I needed to make 2012 run smoothly.